a series of beads dedicated to my Mum
Rita de Geus
1942 -2003
No one can be prepared for the sudden death of a loved one. When my precious Mother passed away in November of 2003, I was sent into a spiral of sadness and despair that continuously moved downward for many days and months. These feelings conflicted completely with the thought that my mother would not have been happy with my way of "dealing" with it. Then I realised it was exactly the way she wanted things to be and I understood WHY!!
She had taught and moulded me the way that she had for a reason. It was she that I took my inspiration from. It was she I had learnt from. I had watched her in times of joy and happiness, despair and sadness and had learnt that it's okay to feel the way I do. It's okay to grieve the way I do. Then a feeling began to grow, a feeling of comfort in the things I needed to complete and the new journey I was about to begin as an adult orphan.
The blunt reminder that life is too short, bought about a sense of urgency and a new desperation. Where had my passion gone? Where was my muse? What had happened to the artist within?
In the days and months and now years since, I have allowed time to grieve and to heal. To begin to understand that "it won't go away" and this is simply a new path that everyone must take at some time in his or her life. I have become grateful for the time I had and for the precious memories she has given me. Grateful that she was able to do things exactly the way she said she would and wanted to.
One of my mother's favourite pastimes was to be in her garden, if not digging the soil and nurturing the plants, she relished walking around and admiring the latest breath of nature springing forth into bloom or admiring the colours of autumn. There was never any traditional order in Mum's garden she just found a spare piece of dirt and filled it. In the winter she would give everything a "haircut" literally and trim all of her plants to ground level, then she'd pile the trimmings up high in the middle of the "heap", let them dry up for a few weeks and burn them. On one occasion the fire brigade was even called, she never did see what all the fuss was about. She didn't follow the rule books, she just loved her garden and it loved her back.
When she moved from a home of her own, she took pleasure and delight in establishing two new gardens, those of my two sisters, and she delighted in visiting mine. When she was deciding to return from her 14 month stay in England, her words were "I want to be home in time for the Irises." She was home and died in her sleep with the Irises blooming in their full splendour.
For many years I have created flower beads. Sometimes I will try other techniques or styles and take them and enjoy them but always when my muse is quiet I return to flowers. This time around I went back to them, desperately seeking a solace in my art, and with inspiration from friends in the polymer clay community I picked up on something I had always wanted to do. It would take weeks and weeks to create something I was happy with and the result's are as you see them. Mid way through creating this series, relishing in the joy of making something beautiful, my thoughts turned to my mother's garden and my muse returned.
I would like to thank the Polymer clay community around the world for their kind thoughts and friendship during this time in my life. They have shared with me, through high times and low for many years and have been a tremendous support. A special thank you to Donna Kato for her work with translucent clays, to Marie Segal for her leaf cane, to Elissa Powell for her chrysanthemum cane, to Leigh Ross for her beautiful Millenium garden beads and trueleighrose cane, to Judith Skinner for her indispensable skinner blend, and to the many other artists whose websites I visited and work I viewed and thus filled me with the inspiration to "Pick up the clay again"
Finally a thank you to my mother Rita for her greatest garden, the one that is the life I live and is filled with love and joy.
Precious Memories
Rita de Geus - Vink
19 October 1942
23 November 2003
Rest in treasured peace Mum
I love youIn the frustration of searching for my muse and wanting to find a release for my feelings through my artwork these new pieces have developed. They have turned my heart from sombre to joyous. Enjoy and take a wander through my mother's garden.
Petra has developed a range of Knitting needles decorated with her "Mother's Garden" beads. If you'd like to read more about her knitting needles you can do so by visiting her needles page at polymerclay.co.nz.
